$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
