I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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