Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
