its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
