Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
