remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
