Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
