She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Verdict: uncircumcised.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize