pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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