You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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