shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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