She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
