apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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