Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Bring me that man meat
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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