Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize