Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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