White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
