yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
