just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
