I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Less talking, more tequila
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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