How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
