You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize