we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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