I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
