Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
