Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
