She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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