His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
