She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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