are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize