Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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