He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
