Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
