Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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