So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
