you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
