HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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