He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
