I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize