I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
