he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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