Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
