omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
