Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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