Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I want her autograph on my taint
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize