im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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