fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize