White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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