I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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