Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
