before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
