Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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