I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
