Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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