Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
