Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
