so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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