As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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