turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
