ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
