You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
