Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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