So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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